heh.. this entry is here.. because i feel... i dunno wat..
mixture of.. sadness.. cos of the end of BM class and the friends I've known over the past 20 weeks are going to be gone for a pretty pretty long time....
Its been a long way that we came by... and ya... we did our test.. most passed.. even those who doesn't deserve it did.. but one did not... and yes.. the other feeling in the mixture i'm having now.. is guilt.. i kinda caused that friend.. or bro of mine to fail...
why? because i failed my first timing and i ganjiong.. and i am so selfish in tinking of myself and i nv tink much for him. i tot daryl was supposed to tow him.. forgetting the fact that daryl had already did his turn. fuck. he towed daryl and he cramped. D-Q..
He was given a second try.. and i let him tow my dear... and fuck.. his clothing dropped twice.. goggle got fogged and some 1 or 2 pp bumped into him that he had to detour..
his timing was just 1 second away from passin...
the examiner did not give any hint or anything... i just wonder.. why can he pass those who nv study at all? and not just let that 1 second off?!
i can't bring myself to respect these examiners.. and for that.. adding on to guilt.. i can't really be totally happy abt my BM pass.
I felt like I don't really deserve it.
I did not have the leadership and calmness to think properly when I'm in trouble. I was able to tink like some big person when others are in trouble.. but when I AM the one who's in a stressed period.. I freak out.. and I let him die.
sigh.
wat a friend i am.
even tho in the fone conversation after i got home.. yeah.. i felt so bad.. i called him up to apologise...
he said he understood that i feel bad because i feel that we train together.. in the class together.. should pass together... but didn't happen in the end..
yeha.. and seriously.. i still feel its my fault. he was a wonderful fren.. and on top of all.. he's got wat he need to pass this thing! if not for mi.. he wouldn't need to get a stupid fail and wait 3 weeks for the next test.
i don't noe how can i bu chang... i seriously pray that God will guide our way.. and let us meet again and let me repay him in someway that he needs next time in the future.. Yeah.. more than glad to noe he's a christian too~ :)
I am thankful for dearie to bring me into LS and swimming.. because of that.. I get to know wonderful ppl... and I got to noe dear better too...
Now that BM is over.. there's not much goals left for this yr except to find a job and build up my body.. oh yeah.. before the building up part.. gotta settle my injury on my shoulder and neck first.. yet another thing that needs gary's help.
Sigh.. i wonder how long will this feeling bug me... in my BMT days.. a buddy of mine.. just like gary.. trained with mi for SOC.. and in the end.. I passed.. and he failed too. fuck. i felt so fucking unfair because it was a failure due to some stupid timing mistake but they did not agree to their fault.. i almost made a fucking big din in the platoon office. no one knew abt it.. but I seriously hoped this kinda thing won't happen again...
maybe I'm too emotional.. but fuck. thats me.. if its daryl who failed.. i wouldn't care.. cos he didn't care and he takes everythign for granted. but if its arina/wati/li qi/gary who failed. which in this case.. its gary.. i really feel damn sad.
moreover.. he's the one who taught mi butterfly.. corrected my freestyle.. someone who got closer as the test date comes by because we trained together.. just like tejman (the guy from nepal) when we trained for competition together.. then he left to nepal.. yeah. its a mix feeling. guilt and sadness.
at least he's still in sg.. and can meet up for gym and swim la.. but well.. when i get a perm job too.. its hard to even maintain frenship for those nearby man.. dun like this kinda friends move away thingies.. quite a few times it had happened.. after OCT training.. after ORD.. after POP.. after i left my basketball team.. after I left Poly and sec sch... God...so many times man... i'm so emotional/affectionate i guess.
God blesses me with so many friendships and brotherhoods.. but yet i dun seem to be able to cherish them well... I hope and pray that God will bless me with the ability to manage time well and plan them well.. for all my friends and love ones... amen.
Haiz. dun feel good still after writing this blog. but at least it made mi feel tired.
Thank God for everything you've blessed me so far.. its been quite an incredible journey.. but i will continue to strive in my LS and swimming to glorify ur name.
nitenitex...
GQ
2:20 AM
rachael's breakup remind me of why edmund and I broke up.. pretty similar.. i did everything for him yet he left to woo someone else he interests. well not that i'm sad or feeling wasted over it but her incident just reminded me of that, 'painful' past.. i've certainly grew out of it and am now enjoying my love life much more with my darling national day.. haha..
theres also another case of 2 of our co-workers who have been a couple for 5 months. here are some facts to start the ball rolling.. he is her first bf, their age dif is almost 10yrs, he often complains about her insensitivity and immaturity..
both cases are pretty negative.. but i believe it serves as a reminder to us right dear? their cases are examples of what is likely to be able to fold up our rs if we didn't give enough care and resolvement to our problems. well, these issues r bad on our friends but its good on our side. it helps us to a certain extent.
baby, u told me about your worries about our recent 'problems' or little quarrels over domestic stuffs. even though i did not really realise the issues or 'cracks' you discovered,i hope you are reassured that i understand your concerns and i'm willing to work hard with you to prolong our relationship in a good way for as long as possible. our love is real and no one can beat that..
i love you honey..
1:29 AM
I was posted this qn by some dear fren of mine...
"Everything i do, it was for him. I don't know what i want is for myself..I do things for him to be happy, but he still left. why....?"
It is a very sad case that I do not wish to disclose here.. but I'd like to address to this qn.. esp.. to my dearie.. my utmost loving dearie...
First and foremost.. it was a very typical example of love blind case.. Since day one of rs.. i told myself and i told my dearie not to get into such a situation.. because in that situation.. u won't have consciousness for ANY degrading of feeling or fade off of love or any other stuffs.. this can be dangerous for rs.. esp. cummulative anger and accumulating grudges/compromises-overmade.
A mini example of it happened in MY rs with dearie.. which rings a bell SO LOUD it almost deafen my ears. I'm glad it got me awake.. and I managed to talk to dearie before anything and everything gets worst. I felt like I compromised too much.. for going to her home.. trying to meet the quota of meeting her everyday(regardless its a need for me or she just plainly miss me).. I can't emphasize enuff that this is impossible to happen because working life will soon take over and the impact will be great if we were to suddenly expose to that no-meeting days instead of building up from now.
Also.. meeting her and her parents too much means too li'l time for my parents.. tat caused some disruptions in my emotions because my dad just kinda recovered(i still found blood streaks in the phlegm of his just now.. i dunno.) from cancer.. last but not least.. the controlling of my expenditure and restricting me from buying anything I want. I was OK initially.. if to state the condition.. i was blinded by love.. I felt that it is ok.. I should compromise to her because I love her and I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY!!! i did not negotiate an equal good way out.. and thus ended up with the numerous quarrels we had recently because the patience hit the limit and compromises breaks down.. I was kinda stupid then. Too naive.. and despite knowing that this may happen.. I still fell for the trap because the love I fell into is way too deep.
I am glad we're having love that we're willing to fork our life for.. and its VERY unconditional.. but let me remind dearie and myself.. that this was getting pretty unhealthy oh.. dearie said u were too dependent on mi.. I did not agree to it.. and tinking abt it til now. .I should say dearie just love me too much and just wanna help me. But on my receiving end.. it doesn't feel that way. Despite being mature and appreciative.. I couldn't help but feel the restrictions and control dearie is towering over me. I need the space for breather like I just told u..
This can very easily boil down to things happening the way like the qn posted to me by my dear fren... scroll up to see. Why did lover A did all she can for lover B but lover B still left? Cos on the receiving end.. lover B isn't feelin the love.. he's feeling the pressure of the overwhelming love. and is lover B doesn't address to it cos he's plain lazy or tinks he can compromises everything (like i was..).. doom will be on the way.
Anyway.. I hope dearie will wake up with mi on this wake up call.. it ain't meant to be harsh.. but I was just evaluating wat was happening on my side. so u can noe.. I hope we will always have such conversation.. honest ones.. so we can truly evaluate and stay conscious of our love.. so we won't be blinded and killed by love when we truly love each other.
Like i said in the beginning.. commitment and loving ain't easy.. since I took my first step to propose to u on 24 Dec 2005 1.33AM.. I already made up my mind to walk with you down the long winding rough.smooth route til we reach the aisle and tie the knot. I don't go into a rs to playplay. and you know how serious I can be when I AM serious.
I know dearie's serious abt me too.. and dearie very much feel the same way as I do when love is concerned. Do evaluate on the above.. and we can discuss to make adjustments and then follow thru them so we can get back on the honeymoon days again with lesser quarrels but still same fruitfulness in understanding yeah?
Maybe dearie tink I am tinking too much. but tink abt it. if i dun tink abt it.. who will? wat if this carry on and i am to be super dumb to notice onli when my feelings for u fade because of tiredness i were to experience from all the quarrels and compromising to your well-meant controls/restrictions? am i really thinking too much? or am i just trying to make things easier with my li'l 2 cents worth of wits that i have in my walnut sized brain? tink abt it and tell me. yeah? :)
Checkout~
Ray.
1:39 AM
Baby.. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the insensitivity I displayed.. and being so easily angered resulting in not being nice to you at all for these recent weeks.. Pl don't get me wrong.. I still love you all the same.. Its just that stress has been building up quite highly..
I wished that we could have more quiet times spent out of our bedrooms or anywhere that we could fall asleep on. If you noticed.. its been quite sometime since we had a hearty session of chatting.. yes.. I meant all the words I say to you even though I've been spouting "I love you"s almost everyday and nite.. I couldn't say that enuff to overemphasize its faith I have for our RS.
Still, I really wish I could say more than that. Much more.. But we just couldn't.. because when we're together.. its either we're shopping, sleeping, swimming or eating or.... yah. I miss the days we go to the park.. stroll around some quiet place.. and sit down and chat.. I know dearie enjoys comfort more than anything else.. but I really hope that raising this up now can help and it won't be too late before everything starts to collapse even at the very least. Communication breakdown can be dead serious in RS if you would let me kindly remind you.
I don't mean to say dearie's stupid that you didn't tink abt me when you told your mum I'm gonna get gifts.. in fact.. what I was trying to imply was something I thought of and was related to that. I wished dear will spend sometime with me star gazing outside without complaining the mosquito bites or warm air. I am starting to detest aircon room because it makes us sleepy and that way, I couldn't talk to you heartily at all! I got alot to share. Maybe its because my family ain't as fortunate.. and sometimes I feel that I have too much on my shoulders and head! One good reason is my mum's simply Simple minded or Naive and my dad's NOT ard with her. so, that leaves the Home and WHOLE FAMILY to MY charge. How "Relaxing" can that be. Mum's earning 1200 a month, spending 1650.. Keng don't put me on schedule. How great. Dad's staying at the other side.. all alone in his room after meeting us for dinner. I onli see him twice within 2 months. Can dearie's parents just keep me as their son instead? I shan't list out the many good points that will serve except I can't marry you.
Let me digress.
Each of the two times seeing daddy.. I saw mum asking money from Dad.. its FUCKED UP Feeling. and the rear view of my dad walking away.. back to his "Beautifully decorated and Well equiped" room.. I could just sense Loneliness so overwhelming. I feel? Sad.
Every single day since last week.. Mum will call and some kinda conversation of the below will be "played" like a radio-cassette on repeat mode.
Mum: Keng ar.. tonite got come back eat bo?
Me: Nah.. Ma.. I got something on tonite.
Mum: Zhe yang ar..
Me: Yah.
Mum: Eh.. daddy says if u wanna eat come down to his place and eat together leh..
Me: Can't leh ma.. I need to practice my swimming.
Mum: Zhe yang ar..
Pause..
Mum again: Then left me and Ah Di two persons onli leh.
Me: Yah.. you all go eat lor.. I eat by myself lor.. Cos test coming up.. must practice hard.
Mum: Ok ok lor.. dun come back too late ar.
Me: Orh.. ok.. you take care.. okie.. byebye..
Mum: ar.. bye bye.
What do you see in the conversation?
I see myself being forced to make a decision of having to defy her wish of mi coming back to eat and thus making them lonely. On top of that.. I have to deal with the fact that Dad will Miss me. Dad hasn't been emotional all years of his life that I've seen thru out my 22 years of living. That adds on real much to the idea that he actually Misses me. I feel? Hurt.
But I wanna pei my dearie. and I wanna practice my swimming. I need time to gym and excel physically. I don't wanna grow fat. I don't want to go home and face those shit again! I don't wish to see my mum asking me to make decision. Asking me questions that she already has an answer and being super not understanding by insisting on her decisions even tho I can't make it or something like that. That causes me to insist on my own decision and thus making them sad or watsoever. Fuck that.
I am very. Note. VERY. afraid that the RS between me and dearie will be affected because of this. This emotional turmoil and stress has been building up. Esp. with the times when dearie can't make up her mind to be with me or with her family. And I always act smart try to be understanding then just follow her to her home and have dinner with her family and her so she can have the best of both worlds. Exactly the opposite happens to me. Maybe this prolonged cycle over the last two months had made me rather sick. Mentally and Emotionally. thats why I flared at dearie easily. I'm sorry. I really am. You noe me.. I don't say sorry easily Unless I mean it cos I know Saying Sorry means I'm at Fault and I don't like that.
Dearie also will have that kinda conversation with me like the one I wrote between me and mummy. I REALLY HATE THAT.
Its a Ask me liao but When I give the answer.. the answer ain't favourable to you and then you will continue asking. Many a times this situation arises and I adopted a mindset and action of whenever you asked something..I will make up my mind REALLY FAST and insist on that. Thats why you see me being harsh because I wanna show that I am insistent on my decision. I don't wanna be like mum who is very indecisive. But when I become decisive.. dearie and mummy don't accept my decision and continues to question. I get sian. I don't wish to answer again because you already know. Then? Mummy and dearie gets upset because my answer don't conform to the best situation suited to mummy and dearie. Then? I have to insist on my decision still.. because its a decision I made because I feel that its the best. Then? I hide in my heart with that guilt of having to make dearie or mummy upset cos of my decision.
Sometimes.. really.. If both side can't make a decision.. I wish to say "I AM NOT FREE TONITE FOR ANYONE. and just go gym my ass off or swim or play ball."
I need to go. I need to escape from this sandwich thingy. Dearie need money and wants me. Working lifestyle can't conform.. So I have to conform to dearie's timing and her need to meet the parents for dinner. Because she has work. Thats a no choice thing. On the other hand.. I ain't deployed so I can travel down. so I SHOULD conform to her because I am HER LOVE. One and Only pl.
but that causes a lopsided situation many a times when my own family ain't cared for by me. Fuck. I can't handle this man. Can daddy come back and pei mummy so I can do my own thing? CAN SOMEONE ELSE TAKE CHARGE?
WHY THE FUCK AM I A BORN LEADER? BORN LEADER AIN'T TALENT. IT MEANS YOU'RE BORN TO BE FORCED TO BE A LEADER. THATS WHO I AM.
Fuck that.
Darling..
I wanna gym and workout my body to be defined and leaned and fit.
I wanna perfect my Breaststroke.
I wanna perfect my Freestyle/Front crawl.
I wanna learn more abt butterfly then perfect it.
I wanna spend time with you.
I wanna spend time with my family.
I wanna make you happy.
I wanna make my dad and mum feel homely and loved.
I wanna love you with all I can.
I wanna tell you all of my heart. When can I? Can you feel what I am feeling?
I feel so compressed.
I wanna work and make money.
I wanna clear the bills for my mum.
I wanna new house.
I wanna new everything in the house.
I wanna clean and neat house.
I wanna make you Mine.
I wanna marry you soon.
I wanna tell you...
That I'm sorry for all the things I've done.
I have been a lousy boyfriend compared to you as a girlfriend. You've took care of me, I haven't. You've bought things for me to eat.. I haven't. You've been there for me all the time.. but I couldn't be there for you because you don't have any troubles in your life for me to be there with! I have no chance or maybe dearie have no time to tell me also just like how i am feeling above. Dearie loves me lots.. I love you lots too.. Dearie have the ability to shower care and concern on me.. I can't. Dearie's not stressed.. I'm almost fully compressed.
Almost dead.
Somebody help?
Dearie.. I need to talk. I NEED TO. Don't ask me "what I wanna talk" when we meet. I don't know how sensitive can dearie get but sometimes you can actually ask question similar to that level or extend when we meet up and I say I wanna do something with you and you'll ask me directly so what you wanna do abt that something? If I have something definite to talk to you or do with you.. I'd start immediately when I met up with you.. I won't pause. Sometimes I can't just start because I don't know how to. Understand ma? Hugs..
I'm sorry for the insensitivity I displayed.. and being so easily angered resulting in not being nice to you at all for these recent weeks.. Pl don't get me wrong.. I still love you all the same.. Its just that stress has been building up quite highly..
I wished that we could have more quiet times spent out of our bedrooms or anywhere that we could fall asleep on. If you noticed.. its been quite sometime since we had a hearty session of chatting.. yes.. I meant all the words I say to you even though I've been spouting "I love you"s almost everyday and nite.. I couldn't say that enuff to overemphasize its faith I have for our RS.
Still, I really wish I could say more than that. Much more.. But we just couldn't.. because when we're together.. its either we're shopping, sleeping, swimming or eating or.... yah. I miss the days we go to the park.. stroll around some quiet place.. and sit down and chat.. I know dearie enjoys comfort more than anything else.. but I really hope that raising this up now can help and it won't be too late before everything starts to collapse even at the very least. Communication breakdown can be dead serious in RS if you would let me kindly remind you.
I don't mean to say dearie's stupid that you didn't tink abt me when you told your mum I'm gonna get gifts.. in fact.. what I was trying to imply was something I thought of and was related to that. I wished dear will spend sometime with me star gazing outside without complaining the mosquito bites or warm air. I am starting to detest aircon room because it makes us sleepy and that way, I couldn't talk to you heartily at all! I got alot to share. Maybe its because my family ain't as fortunate.. and sometimes I feel that I have too much on my shoulders and head! One good reason is my mum's simply Simple minded or Naive and my dad's NOT ard with her. so, that leaves the Home and WHOLE FAMILY to MY charge. How "Relaxing" can that be. Mum's earning 1200 a month, spending 1650.. Keng don't put me on schedule. How great. Dad's staying at the other side.. all alone in his room after meeting us for dinner. I onli see him twice within 2 months. Can dearie's parents just keep me as their son instead? I shan't list out the many good points that will serve except I can't marry you.
Let me digress.
Each of the two times seeing daddy.. I saw mum asking money from Dad.. its FUCKED UP Feeling. and the rear view of my dad walking away.. back to his "Beautifully decorated and Well equiped" room.. I could just sense Loneliness so overwhelming. I feel? Sad.
Every single day since last week.. Mum will call and some kinda conversation of the below will be "played" like a radio-cassette on repeat mode.
Mum: Keng ar.. tonite got come back eat bo?
Me: Nah.. Ma.. I got something on tonite.
Mum: Zhe yang ar..
Me: Yah.
Mum: Eh.. daddy says if u wanna eat come down to his place and eat together leh..
Me: Can't leh ma.. I need to practice my swimming.
Mum: Zhe yang ar..
Pause..
Mum again: Then left me and Ah Di two persons onli leh.
Me: Yah.. you all go eat lor.. I eat by myself lor.. Cos test coming up.. must practice hard.
Mum: Ok ok lor.. dun come back too late ar.
Me: Orh.. ok.. you take care.. okie.. byebye..
Mum: ar.. bye bye.
What do you see in the conversation?
I see myself being forced to make a decision of having to defy her wish of mi coming back to eat and thus making them lonely. On top of that.. I have to deal with the fact that Dad will Miss me. Dad hasn't been emotional all years of his life that I've seen thru out my 22 years of living. That adds on real much to the idea that he actually Misses me. I feel? Hurt.
But I wanna pei my dearie. and I wanna practice my swimming. I need time to gym and excel physically. I don't wanna grow fat. I don't want to go home and face those shit again! I don't wish to see my mum asking me to make decision. Asking me questions that she already has an answer and being super not understanding by insisting on her decisions even tho I can't make it or something like that. That causes me to insist on my own decision and thus making them sad or watsoever. Fuck that.
I am very. Note. VERY. afraid that the RS between me and dearie will be affected because of this. This emotional turmoil and stress has been building up. Esp. with the times when dearie can't make up her mind to be with me or with her family. And I always act smart try to be understanding then just follow her to her home and have dinner with her family and her so she can have the best of both worlds. Exactly the opposite happens to me. Maybe this prolonged cycle over the last two months had made me rather sick. Mentally and Emotionally. thats why I flared at dearie easily. I'm sorry. I really am. You noe me.. I don't say sorry easily Unless I mean it cos I know Saying Sorry means I'm at Fault and I don't like that.
Dearie also will have that kinda conversation with me like the one I wrote between me and mummy. I REALLY HATE THAT.
Its a Ask me liao but When I give the answer.. the answer ain't favourable to you and then you will continue asking. Many a times this situation arises and I adopted a mindset and action of whenever you asked something..I will make up my mind REALLY FAST and insist on that. Thats why you see me being harsh because I wanna show that I am insistent on my decision. I don't wanna be like mum who is very indecisive. But when I become decisive.. dearie and mummy don't accept my decision and continues to question. I get sian. I don't wish to answer again because you already know. Then? Mummy and dearie gets upset because my answer don't conform to the best situation suited to mummy and dearie. Then? I have to insist on my decision still.. because its a decision I made because I feel that its the best. Then? I hide in my heart with that guilt of having to make dearie or mummy upset cos of my decision.
Sometimes.. really.. If both side can't make a decision.. I wish to say "I AM NOT FREE TONITE FOR ANYONE. and just go gym my ass off or swim or play ball."
I need to go. I need to escape from this sandwich thingy. Dearie need money and wants me. Working lifestyle can't conform.. So I have to conform to dearie's timing and her need to meet the parents for dinner. Because she has work. Thats a no choice thing. On the other hand.. I ain't deployed so I can travel down. so I SHOULD conform to her because I am HER LOVE. One and Only pl.
but that causes a lopsided situation many a times when my own family ain't cared for by me. Fuck. I can't handle this man. Can daddy come back and pei mummy so I can do my own thing? CAN SOMEONE ELSE TAKE CHARGE?
WHY THE FUCK AM I A BORN LEADER? BORN LEADER AIN'T TALENT. IT MEANS YOU'RE BORN TO BE FORCED TO BE A LEADER. THATS WHO I AM.
Fuck that.
Darling..
I wanna gym and workout my body to be defined and leaned and fit.
I wanna perfect my Breaststroke.
I wanna perfect my Freestyle/Front crawl.
I wanna learn more abt butterfly then perfect it.
I wanna spend time with you.
I wanna spend time with my family.
I wanna make you happy.
I wanna make my dad and mum feel homely and loved.
I wanna love you with all I can.
I wanna tell you all of my heart. When can I? Can you feel what I am feeling?
I feel so compressed.
I wanna work and make money.
I wanna clear the bills for my mum.
I wanna new house.
I wanna new everything in the house.
I wanna clean and neat house.
I wanna make you Mine.
I wanna marry you soon.
I wanna tell you...
That I'm sorry for all the things I've done.
I have been a lousy boyfriend compared to you as a girlfriend. You've took care of me, I haven't. You've bought things for me to eat.. I haven't. You've been there for me all the time.. but I couldn't be there for you because you don't have any troubles in your life for me to be there with! I have no chance or maybe dearie have no time to tell me also just like how i am feeling above. Dearie loves me lots.. I love you lots too.. Dearie have the ability to shower care and concern on me.. I can't. Dearie's not stressed.. I'm almost fully compressed.
Almost dead.
Somebody help?
Dearie.. I need to talk. I NEED TO. Don't ask me "what I wanna talk" when we meet. I don't know how sensitive can dearie get but sometimes you can actually ask question similar to that level or extend when we meet up and I say I wanna do something with you and you'll ask me directly so what you wanna do abt that something? If I have something definite to talk to you or do with you.. I'd start immediately when I met up with you.. I won't pause. Sometimes I can't just start because I don't know how to. Understand ma? Hugs..
I can't sleep.. its 5.30 now.. I came back at 2. I can't sleep. At all.
Checkout,
Ray.
4:59 AM
things have been going pretty smooth for us these days.. first it was the unexpected aquathlon win, e windfall and a pretty good job opportunity for me!!
most of all, we are so happy together.. =)
10:50 AM
he called me to wake me up@ 0630 hrs..
to my surprise, he sounded rather awake..
and guess what?
he stayed up all night because he feared if he slept, he wouldn't be able to wake me up on time..
so he played playstation all night..
even though he was so sleepy and tired..
goodness..
my dear kok keng is such a silly boy..
not to mention, super uber ultra SWEET..
i simply can't wait!!!
still overjoyed from our champion win for the New Balance Aqualthon: Mixed Relay Sprint Event =)=)=) haha..
10:09 PM
I'm gonna do the normal thing I always do again... Run...
Sexy baby number XR52... XD
That was where she swam.. kinda.. See liao oso sianz. Next yr I swimming. More sian.
I took this pic because I wanna learn how to sneak shot other babes. LOL....
Nah.. just wanna post something innocently sexy of my lovably gorgeous darling who has so many assets she and i can show off for... =D
HAO LIAN~~~~
WO XI HUAN LEH.. ZHEN YANG??? :Pp
9:20 PM
Pretty shagged.. but still lovely as ever~ hehee..
Smile until eyes gone.. HAHAHHAA..
Hai.. the weather so hot... cannot open my eyes.. XD
Lets take one photo together!~ CHEEZE~ Thanks to a guy wearing brasil shirt. hahahaha..
9:18 PM
1st for Mixed relay sprint category =)
i swam 750m in the open sea (1st)
he ran 5km (2nd)YAY..................................!!! After the long wait................
9:17 PM
Crumpled face. :P
eee... YucKS~ :P
Smile~~~~
"Not Nice la.."
"... okok.. i take one more.."
"Okay?"
"hee.. nice nice..."
9:15 PM
About The
GQ's Profile:
ID:
GQ/QinG/KK/Rukawa
Day of Generation:
09 AugusT 1984
ZodIaRk ~ LeO
Inner BeasT ~ Mice
Loves:
- Samsam/Samantha
- Basketball *Passion*
- Swimming
- Running
- BlooD *Craving*
- Sensual Pain~
- Kitties and Puppies *Cuddle*
- My brothers and sisters
- My Real family and my brother
- StrawBerriEs
- Hugx and Caresses
- Nibbles and Kisses
- Orgasms
- Well defined Muscles
- Flat Abs
- 34D =)
- Programming (Not a Geek either)
- Beach
- Getting Sun-Kissed
- Pple who dares to be themselves and not hide
- bitches sometimes :)
- Loves and Romance..
- To lend a helping hand/listenin ear at ALL times =)
- Betrayers
- Backstabbers
- Liars
- HypocRytes
- Pple who breaks promises
- Arrogant pple
- Pple who act holy
- Bastards
- Bittergourd
- NS
- Lazy pple/Pple w No Urgency
*Mei*~~Rong~~
GwenGwen
JiaYuan
*Mei*~~Rachel~~
Yu
Dael
Mike
Lester
Kenny
Desire~List
- DEARIE'S HUGX AND KISSES
- New Phone.. 6230I
- Nike Bag.. 82.95
- Abs.
- Bigger Biceps and Triceps.
- Better Complexion
- Better Health...
- Black Jeans
- Orange Shirt
- Grey Pants
- Black Leather Belt
MSN/Friendster: rukawa_koh@hotmail.com
Email: rukawa_gq@yahoo.com / rukawa.gq@gmail.com
"In~LoVeS'~"
SY's Profile:
Samantha Yeo Su Yun
18 years old
Singapore Poly
Lifeguard, Financial Trade
Sports, swimming esp!, life-saving, shopping, taking pictures
Wishlist:
i'm so happy with dear now that i cant wish for more!!=)
Links:
Link
Chitty~Chitty~Chat~Chat