heh.. just saw a couple of newly uploaded pics of myself in dear's friendster account.. got 1 i like very obscene leh.. lol..
just came back from dearie's place.. went for dinner w his mom & bro @ bukit timah johnson duck.. i've never tasted such tender & nice-tasting duck meat man.. ha..
had gems presentation[magic square] this afternoon. shouldnt haf spent so much time cracking my head on how to find a solution to this magic square man.. majority of e grps actually found the same answer by using trial and error method! unbelievably crazy!!
aft tt went for TA(technical analysis) CA.. e paper din look easy initially.. but do alr still alright la..
once reach dearie hs, help them ta sao chu again.. clean up e whole hs.. really VERY dirty.. but got me dear guohua & randy so hardworking, of course e hs ended up looking spick & span..!
*smiley faced -samsam-*
anw, just to update some happenings ytd.. had very sweet and xing fu moments w dearie.. budden.. 2 rather unfortunate and embarrassing tings happened.. 1st involving guohua.. next involving dear's dad.. quite spoiler la.. but deardear you an wei wo.. ask mi nt 2 wry n stuff.. dear's consolation really made mi eel alot betta man..
b4 going home ytd, went to deliver last batches of pineapple tarts to yirong(dear's godsis) and bernard.. caught up w bernard a lil.. still in relationship problem although he has an incredible body w above average looks.. ha.. finally collected all our pineapple tart earnings.. each of us made about $70 profit.. which isn't alot.. bake until like siao.. take up so much time yet earn so little.. money really hard to earn man..
12:58 AM
sweet as candy is your love..
true and pure like the flying white doves..
melting me in every possible way..
fixing my downs using the sweetest love rain..
touched was i in my heart and soul..
now i still am as my love for you grow..
won't you follow me till we're ripe and old?
so i can watch the sun rise blindingly bright..
and the moon shine in the sky so high..
with your hands tightly i hold..
and our hearts connect with intertwined souls..
its a wish and hope i always pray for..
so sweet ya.. yet another poem i receive from dearie.. it never fills to make me feel better or even happier..i'm so lucky to have someone who treasure and appreciate me so much.. =)
the above poem was wriiten by dear on 27 jan 2005, 23:48hrs..
12:50 AM
Dearie Samsam Su Yun..
Thank you for being such a precious gem in my life.. I'm so thankful I've found you.. and I'm so glad for both of us to be together after going thru wat I tink we both shouldn't deserve in our previous ugly stretch of unlovable lovely roads... it is beyond words that I can describe with my feelings.. but there's something specific I wanna tell you... I'm sorry..
I'm sorry for the things I've done to have hurt you or made you cried in this short period of one month... I'm sorry for raising my voice at you when I could have resolve things in an overall nicer way... Its all inside me.. my personalities.. but I haven't been able to know them.. until you made it clear to me.. I won't expect in the barbaric way for you to compromise with me.. for I know you won't... they say the only true frens are those who'll tell you the truth.. despite it hurts for now.. when the wound heal, you'll feel even better than how you used to be when the truth is told to you.. That.. I respect and thank my dearie.. for being my true fren.. true buddy.. true partner of my life.. my true-est everything.
Even though I've been REALLY busy with my work and all.. down with the worries that came with my health and fitness.. I am in fact more than happy in my heart to have reach this one month milestone with you and still going strong... stronger than before in fact!.. Its a good start for us..an overall quick summary of our ownself we've given to each other.. an unique one month for us. its probably the most beautiful phase for many other couples in the world.. the very month where it's most quarrelless.. where sweetest words were said.. most tasty kisses were exchanged.. endless laughter were found... but many of them found a stumbling block after this very month.. for when things got VERY.. dreamy.. or should I say.. PeRfeCt?.. a simply hairline crack can shatter every single hope and joy they found within themselves.. and the truth of themselves not working hard enuff and taking things for granted will STRIKE eventually.
Note that its not the fact that they're not "there" for each other.. or not good enuff.. or not suited.. its just a fact that ppl take things for granted especially easily when they're in a r.s. where things can come so easily from a willingly giving party... Its Inevitable.. whether or not we deny it.. it will still happens...
however.. wats the point i'm trying to put thru? its just that.. thru this one month.. I believe we’ve proven to each other.. that we’re able to think in that manner.. even tho inevitable to take things for granted.. I know very clearly that we’ll put in the effort to reduce.. pre-empt and try to prevent… (God.. this sound like the meeting I just went thru wit h all the big shots.. nvm..).. Don’t you think so, dearie? I really admire dearie’s ability to think like I do.. when she’s onli 18 yrs old.. 19 this yr.. probably the main reason I fell for her.. yes.. I don’t love you for your big boobies only dearie… =D Please PLEASE please.. take note of that… lol..
Things are real between the both of us.. and that’s great.. nothing’s too dreamy.. nothing’s too big or huge to believe that its true.. (not even our chest.. hee..).. Dearie seems to be quite shock at times when I do things for you.. but please.. its only part of the SOPs that I’ll carry out for the one I love.. When I fall in love. =D just enjoy yourself.. don’t tink of repaying.. for by loving.. you’ve paid more than enuff such that I have to give more in an “always” basis le… so if you wan me to be bankrupt.. then tink of repaying me ba.. hahaha.. I tink dearie’s also one of those born givers too…
Some cool things she did for mi that nv fail to perk me up:
Made breakfast for mi during worktime..
Bought countless lunches for me..
Came all the way from HG to my home when I’m sick to see me..
Listened to me whenever I need her to be there.. she’s ALWAYS there.. even at 2AM… muakx dearie.
Help me attend to my wound on my toe.. give me TLC.. hehee..
Taught me how to float backwards even tho I’m a sinker.. hehehe.. =p
& SO MANY MORE……
I really really appreciate them so so much dearie… and…
Before I end my letter.. I just wanna say.. thank you dearie…
~..Happy Monthlyversary..~
May the sensuality prolong as we kiss and the affections turns uncontrollable as we love…(,”)*(“,)
Our monthlyversary poem…
Name: Love.
For: You.
Written by: Me.
Burning is my love for you..
True like a devotee..
Yet silly like a worthless Fool..
Fiery is my passion for you..
The beauty in my eyes so beastie..
When the sun sink beyonds the horizon line..
On my bended knees I pray..
For simple happiness to fill you..
When the moon hangs high in mystical sky..
Upon every falling star I wish..
For our love to stay true..
Til forever ends and eternity is thru..
In my mind runs endless threads..
Threads of thoughts to make you glad..
In my heart beats rhythmic sound..
Sound that says.. I Love You, Sam…
In my blood flows endless words..
Words that reads..
“Dearie dearie in my heart so deep and true..
Since the day I tasted you...
The cute and poisonous forbidden fruit...
I fell and feel so deeply in my all for you..
My soul longs for you..
My lung needs you..
My heart starves for you..
My mind craves of you..
I Want You…
I can simply live on you alone..
Nv will I get enuff dosage of you..
God.. I’m so obsessed.. with.. You…
Won’t you give me more…
Please, milady? Heee…”
~The Beginning~
Let the ending of the letter help us reminisce the past and let the written ending be the beginning of our living relationship… May there be no broken promises.. and only heart so true it’d touch the Cupid Angels in the sky from our heart deeper than the deepest sea… =)
By: Notti Qing Lotsa Kisses and Warm Hugx 24th January 2006
Above... is a letter.. that I wrote for her.. hehe.. that explains why I feel so tired le.. :Pp finally the truth is known.. bleah.. actually.. I've been writing letters almost everynite last week.. but I threw away all.. cos all are so lousily written.. this is probably the best out of the shagness I'm suffering from.. LOL..
hope you'll enjoy readin it dearie..
*MUACKS!*..
Happy First Monthlyvarsery..~ =D
1:40 PM
we have been super busy in baking & baking.. selling & selling cny cookies for e coming new year.. yet we can still find time to work out in gym and exercise.. dear brought me to run an incredible(for me only) 7km on saturday.. cant believe either.. ha~ taught me many effective ways to work out the right and proper way too!
ytd wrk @ HTA frm 7-1pm.. den had lunch(fd wasnt fantastic at all..) w dear.. went to school for lesson then went national stadium to make payment 4 ncap theory 1 den gave dear a surprise cos i went cck to 'fetch' him.we then proceeded to heeren's marche for dinner w irin&brian.. our FIRST double date in more than 2 yrs.. ha.. very nice & chatty dinner.. glad everyone cld click so well.. after dinner, we went seperate ways n we had our 1st month neoprint taken..!
spent an incredible 1st month w u dear.. though we had disagreements, we were able to sought things out pretty quickly maturely.. i love tt~ furthermore, u make me so happy. ur company is just so great and enjoyable.. i thank you for your immense understanding & tolerance 4 me..
Happy 1st Monthsary =)
*kisses blown by -samsam-*
11:36 AM
Well.. this is probably a complaint entry..
but before I complain.. I need again to thank someone..
she's no other than my dearie..
she's always there.. despite the bad temper and easy moodswing.. shouting and yelling.. she's always there for mi... esp. recently when i'm going through some real ups and downs from my family... I hate family problem.. for it is one of the most important concern of my life... next to my r.s...
Today.. worked half day and just left the workplace.. nothing left to do.. yes.. I'm not too egoistic to say I'm rather competent to finish that whole pile of shitwork due to the stress I've been facing from MONEY and FAMILY.
Met dearie.. dearie bought lunch.. mac again.. she suggested it even tho I asked for help in restriction.. but well.. thx dearie.. i noe u tried. =)
anyway... we both bought each other monthlyversary gifts TODAY! lol.. thats so cute and sweet... chemistry ma? I don't really trust that anymore.. thx to shir. but still its sweet to have coincidences of doing same stuffs to each other in a r.s... Don't worry dearie.. I now believe strongly in onli effort in commitment and discipline-->faithfulness... can make a r.s work.. I juz kinda stopped indulging (that much) into chemistry... its something that can have can dun have.. I don't wanna place too much confidence into that saying that we're compatible cos of that.. for I believe we're compatible in too many other ways even ways we haven't find out than to just mention abt chemistry...
Bought her a chain.. find it rather unique.. and its black and red.. haha.. I think these two colors are hot and sexy... simply her. another side i mean. hahaha..
its cheap.. but still.. I hope she really liked it and will wear it someday.. not like the earrings... hahaha...
She bought mi my FAVOURITE SOFTTOY~~~~~ Chicken Little's ALIEN!!! hehee.. HAO KE AI OH..... thx so much dearie..
it came VERY MUCH of a surprise.. for I thought she nv will buy it for mi.. cos she seem to hate it very much when i'm looking at it...
haha.. but yah.. xie xie oh...
Hmmiez..
then.. we.. made o.. okay nvmz... had some romance sessions.. then had dinner with mummy... then after that.. did some quick new year shopping.. then go home and thats when my complain's gonna start...
mummy tried borrowing 200 dollars from mi in front of dearie and my bro... I'm onli left with 245 in my account.. and I have thailand trip to go to in FEB 9... Thats before my payday.. I oso owe dearie 150 bucks... which i wanted to return with that 245... thus I told her I don't have enuff.. but she got really persistent and start nagging abt "I thought of getting some money from u to guo nian.." I was like wtf? u earn more than mi leh... and I've not been getting money from u le.. and I DID GIVE YOU MONEY.... u always say borrow and nv return.. i nv said that la.. but well.. Sudden frustration came up.. cos she continues to be persistent... I REALLY DON'T HAVE ENUFF FOR MYSELF...... IF I HAVE I'D LEND YOU GLADLY WITH BOTH HANDS...
I told her that.. but she nv seem to understand... keep repeating that I THOUGHT OF GETTING SOME MONEY FROM U THEN RETURN U LATER..
FCUK LA.. WHEN SHE GOT RETURN ONE?
sigh.
then I took out my wallet's money.. ALL of them.. leaving onli 10 dollars.. deciding to live with it for the next two ddays... and ask my bro to pass to her.. then she rejected. expected. then I sent dearie home.. after having a li'l chat and all.. sorry dearie.. to make u go home so late.. its juz so tempting to liu ni jiu yi dian... I really enjoy being with you so much... how i wish u wouldn't need to go.
Yha.. then met up with peiying... passed her the pineapple tarts... took train with dearie to AMK.. then took train back to CCK to find yk and mike ONLY. I hate it when my effort gets unappreciated and taken for granted!!!! Half of them told mi "I'M TIRED.. TOO SHAGGED.. WON'T MEET YOU ALL LE."
wat the FCUK IS WRONG?!! AM I NOT TIRED? IF I CAN MAKE THE EFFORT TO CALL YOU GUYS OUT.. AND YOU GUYS DECIDED TO COME OUT ALREADY.. THEN I PIA DOWN AND FIND YOU ALL THEN YOU ALL LAST MINUTE TELL ME YOU DON'T WANNA COME COS YOU'RE TIRED?!!!!!
ITS NOT LIKE I'M NOT TIRED NOE...
Sigh. nvm.
I told myself to be understanding.. thus I dint really flare up in front of them... and onli did so down here...
then.. walked home with yk... chatted abt the website... and took a cabbie home.. dearie called.. I thought she slp le.. and thus I dint wanna reply that sms so she can soundly fall asleep without even the need to hear the beeping sound of msg and tink of whether to answer... but she still called to ensure I'm safe and sound... thanks dearie.. For your tender loving care... Love your concerns...
While on the cabbie home.. thoughts went thru my mind.. I feel so bad for yelling at mummy... then I thought of Mr Yong telling mi.. "Bai Shan Xiao Wei Xian..." Charity starts from filial peity first... and I felt worst.. I asked her to get from daddy.. doesn't sound right.. cos daddy needs the money to see doc.
then I asked the uncle to go to the ATM.. and I alighted there.. then took the money and went home.... gave it to mum... reluctantly.. she accepted it.
Sorry mum.. but I really hope she'll spend it wisely...
I'm left with 45 bucks... probably 90. from all the bakings. then dad's gonna give some money for clothings le... maybe 190?
Come to tink of it.. Ang Bao won't be of any meaning from mummy le.
EVERYTHING SEEMS SO WRONG~
AIYA! FCUK IT LA!
I'M SO TIRED.....
Tink of how to earn more money tomolo ba.
Checkout~
KoKo.(Trial)
1:49 AM
what a surprise.. we both bought each other 1st monthsary presents. each meant to be given out on 24 jan 2006 but ha.. dear saw his alien hair creature & i gt a nice necklace frm deardear.. act bought it on the way to sch this afternoon.. who knows we both bought each other tings? only realised@noon that dear wrk half-day2day.. so we met up aft my clz =)
what a coincidence.. smthg we share this telepathy.. we dun haf to tell each other anything but we sure know how to please each other =)
had a great run w u ytd night dear.. was very happy i ran almost 6click without feeling as tired as e previous time i ran 5click..
*sweet smiles left by -samsam-*
5:42 PM
SCREAMS.. TYPED SOOOO MUCH AND IT HUNG. SIGH.. ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME.. BUT WELL.. IT STILL IRRITATES AND FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH....
SIGH. NVM..
BREATH IN DEEP.. RELAX.. 6 SECONDS............. okay....
GREAT worry abt my dad.. he's STILL coughing even tho til now.. sigh..
May Heavenly Father Bless him and Heal him.. even tho he's my earthly dad.. he's the one who raised me up with Hard and Rough Work.. there's NO reason why I shouldn't have the chance to repay him... Please dearest Lord of All God... Help me.. Help my dad.. save him.. don't bring him up yet... 20 more years.. I'm trying very hard already... please... Amen.. in Jesus name I pray and Ask.. Amen.. Anyone who read this.. please.. pray with me.. if you do care.. please.. I'll be more than glad for this blessing you endowed me with...... Thank you all...
great run.. w dear, dear's dad, dear's sis and dear's dad's frenz..
great cookie baking..
great ptarts making.. til late late..
I've been SO worn out..
but the run perked me up somehow...
Love dearie..
Hugx...
time to zzz...
Checkout~
Ray.
12:45 AM
today was quite a rough yet mild day for us both.. i felt really terrible in the morning.. woke up feeling faint den on e way to sch felt really nauseous.. luckily i seek dear's help, bought some suan mei & felt much better after that. den when i ended sch@12, i bought lunch for e both of us n headed 2 HTA 2 mit dear 4 lunch den work.. b4 i reached CCK, we kinda argued verbally over SMS(i shan't go into details).. indeed, i was pretty upset..
still, we had our lunch tgt @ e pool.. though zhen chong(dear tinks his a ji hong kia w kiam pa looks) & chay plus other staffs were present there.. we couldnt care less.. jus enjoyed our world of our own=) somehow dear manage to lift up my mood.. he made me smile.. accompanied me 4 tt 1 hr and had a gd chat..
aft tt we both resumed our wrk.. heavy rain.. swimming po0l is still non-operational yet so basically lifeguarding nw is useless.. i get free pay.. ha~ lucky i made some use of my time to read up my blaw notes & TA (upcoming test next fri).
dear ended wrk@5.40 so we met & left HTA @ 6pm. took a cab out which took such a long time to reach westmall! had dinner at mos burger though e service is really slow.. we joke tt mos burger is only called fast food cos their small portions of fd can b easily consumed in a short time.. ha~ aft tt bought some fruits den went dear's hs.. on e way bac on 945, somehow e same quarrel surfaced again.. was pretty unpleasant but we managed to talk things out at his home.. dear told me many of his worries also.. which i appreciated alot.. he allowed me to understand him better.. not only that, we managed to resolve our quarrel by agreeing to set things clearly before making a decision so as to not raise a misunderstanding.. of course, we made up=) very glad tt dear handled e situation in a very controlled, sensible&mature way.. somehow i managed to not flare up like a crazy woman.. heh~
dear sent me to bb station den went home to mit jason(his bball pal/coach).. heard he broke up w his >1 yr galfriend.. haiz.. hate to hear couples braking up.. heart-breaking.. jason was e party tt got hurt.. dear is consoling nw.. hope he'll feel better..
*comments left by -samsam-*
11:54 PM
Frankly speaking.. havent been able to find a suitable name.. or some name that i really like..
not even Ray...
a few names come to my mind.. since i had nearly nothing to do for today (FINALLY..)....
KeiKo..
Kraz..
Kai...
Kryl
Karma
Kryst
Klair
kain
Any suggestions?
Miss you dearie..
Checkout.
Ray ~ For now.
10:20 AM
hehe.. baked A LOT A LOT A LOT of cookiez at dearie'z home yesterday.... I alwayz tot it is sweet to bake or cook together with your love ones.. or rather.. more like my gf as I've onli done so with my exs and current gf... nv with my parentz... When dearie commented that she's happy that I accompanied her thru out the whole process of baking.. I felt wierd... will anyone wan to leave her gf alone to do something so tiring and not to mention lonely in the kitchen all by herself? not me.
Haha.. it was pure fun and laughter.. enjoyed communicating with her sis and bro.. glad we could click somehow.. not really well.. but yah.. somehow =)
love the li'l moments dearie and i spent teasing each other.. in Many wayz.. hehee.. and of course.. the n**** moments spent in the li'l space i shan't say where... ahha... stealing time off movies and everything else to gaze at the stars were juz heavenly... and it was when dearie was pattin mi to slp on her bed.. being sleepy.. and feelin uhhum.. something else.. made it so dreamy when we had a li'l romance session here and there as I try to fall asleep in her cozy cuddle.. hehe.. came more of a surprise to me when dearie said it was romantic and she enjoyed watching the stars with mi.. for she always told mi that she don't like and she don't even wanna try such thing as its boliao.. before we got together that is.. haha..
dearie was juz SO mesmerizing.. =)
Even tho dorifish will read this.. I muz comment on something.. dearie.. you really can drive mi crazy with ur N**** F****R* and awesome B*O**** :Pp hahhaa... I hope I did well for you too baby.. I think I should start a new blog so I can write down all these personal and private stuffs.. hehehe... :Pp
Hmm.. then I muz apologize.. dearie.. i'm not antisocial okie.. I dint wanna go down cos I ain't dressed properly... more of that hit me when ur sis act need to dress up and wear earrings... yah.. if the chance comes again.. I will go de... I wanna noe ur circle of frens too! So I can be closer to you... and know and understand you better... =)
Dearie was extremely sweet to me when dearie went downstairs to get dinner for mi while she left mi at her home to zzz... thx dearie... thx so much...
Dearie also commented that I always manage to please her in everyway she wanted.. I really dint noe how ed treated you last time.. at least before the blog starts.. which was all the sweet part i believe..but I always believed he muz have treated u pretty well somehow somewat too.. thus I hope I am juz enuf to satisfy u... I noe it sound silly.. but maybe its wat love is all about when it struck.. esp. when it strikes me so hard everyday...
However... I muz tell dearie that I aint a saint and thus these wont ALWAYS happen.. thus please enjoy and more importantly cherish these moments.. dearie.. upon hearing that.. please do not worry.. for I aint gonna treat u badly next time.. thats not wat wat i meant but rest assure for I promise you that I will try to treat you in the best way i can do... by mi, myself and I... all the treatment will be from my heart and sincere and truthful...
I Love You dearie...
Thank you for every single thing.. I feel so blessed to have you despites all the sins and bad things I've done in my life. Thank God. Don't mind the christian slang. I am afterall a christian. =) more importantly.. I'm juz really happy.. to have found you.. and I thank God for that.
I wonder how's my dad... Hope he's okay.. hope mum's health will be good too..
I oso hope bro will recover.. before he really fall damn sick...
Hope many buy our cookies and ptarts too! hehe...
Hope dearie will stay by my side til eternity ends and forever shatters. Sounds corny.. let me rephrase.. Hope dearie will stay by my side til very very very VERY long from now.. when we both leave for heaven... hee. May there be more happiness than sadness.. more understanding than compromising blindly.. more love.. than anything. =)
The above I wish upon the two stars dearie and I saw.. Will you grant my wish please?
*hugx dearie to sleep... * I miss you... dearly..
Checkout~
Ray.
1:19 AM
smthg pretty amazing happened dis mrng..cos dear gave me an exceptionally pleasant surprise......................................
it was my1st day day of wrk@ HTA. suppose2start wrk@ 7am. ke shi wo ren shen di bu shou.. haven been there b4&tt place is super ulu@ CCK. nevertheless, i still headed 4 tt place aft i left hm@ 5.45am. my HP was running on two-thirds battery, so i decided2switch off my hp2conserve battery life. it was only when i alighted@ CCK den i switch on my hp again.
"1 message received.. dear said he went out 4 breakfast @ his mom's place @ 5.45am.. i was tinking.. weird..shouldnt he be sleeping?? nan dao.....? bu ke neng ah..."
i continued walking2 CCK interchange & try finding for e place2 board bus service 172. act i gt try peeking for dear de(kinda gt guess dear MIGHT plan a surprise but din pin much hopes on it). so obviously, i saw no signs of dear. but as i walked further, suddenly i felt a quick patx on my shoulder n tt was dear!!!!!
GOODNESS.. imagine hw shock i was 2 c him.. i was DAMN HAPPY la.. dear was SOo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o SWEET 2 haf travelled all e way down here jus 2 bring me2 HTA.. worst ting is dear din slp whole nite cos he scared he cant wake up in tym o.. somemore bought breakfast snacks 4 me.. n e best part, he brought a small towel 4 me! (it was only aft i left hm den i realise i 4got 2 bring towel..) wah seh.. dear so clever.. xiang qi lai ye man bu ke si yi de.. but i brought his mom's pouch & dear's specs(which he wanted2ask me bring but din) without him reminding me =) wo men hao you mo qi o.. hee!
on e bus2HTA de shi hou, i was practically melting in joy lo.. hao tian o.. so lucky of me.. so xi xing of dear.. hao xing fu! love being able 2 hug dear in e wee hours of e mrng & mrng kisses!! =p zhen de zhen de hen gan ji ni zhi dao ba.. all along wo pan wang you zhe zhong surprises 2 dou wo kai xing.. dear gen ben dou neng zou dao yi qie! which he tinks its e least he can do only.. to me its not lo dear.. i really really appreciated every effort put into every surprise u gave me lor..
i'm so thankful i have you dear..
*hugs given by -samsam-*
9:33 PM
hee.. left home at 5.45... waited for 10 minz buz... then took one round cos mi feel too early le.. then take mrt to cck.. reached at 6.14.. haha.. then go seven eleven buy choco hello panda and milk.. dearie'z fav. combi according to herself...haha.. then got an apple pie and wrap it in the towel to keep warm juz in case dearie feel cold can eat... haha.. dearie nv bring towel oso! haha.. somehow i juz noe.. the wrapping apple pie thing was simply convenience.. lol.. then got myself a sm with egg... then waited and ate as I wait for dear patiently from 6.30 onwards :)...
dearie late o.. haha.. she reach at 6.50... saw her from far.. thus hide behind vending machine opposite of buz number... she'll be busy looking at the numberz and wont see me! hehe.. clever? :Ppp hahaha.. and plan goes well til I shock her with my existence! :Pp hahaha.... so fun... hugged and locked lipz and all.. then waited for buz... board buz and see dear literally melt in sweetnezz... hehehe.. so cute and adorable! esp. with her blushy cheekz...
reached HTA and accompanied dearie to find swimming pool... so ulu.. and the swimming pool face wall de... like shit sia....hhahaa..but got morning sunshine.. but i can't see anyway... laid on dearie'z lap for awhile at the spectatorz stand... not too bad.. haha.. got huge piece of cardboard left behind by the workerz... almost fell asleep as I chat with dear and her caresses melts my mental str to stay awake... hehehe... then come her fren.. or rather.. colleague.. dint bother to remember the name coz he'z FCUKING JI HONG *pun intended*.. onli talk to dear. dun even response to me.. like i'm invisible or something? I'm not jealouz but I juz can't stand this kinda guy...worst thing? he got a FCUKING KIAM PA LOOK *As of above*... felt like punching him right in his face or something. nah.
I shall go rejuvenate my str for later use.....
*Hibernation program activated.... *
zzzzz...z.z.z.z.z.z...zzzzz..........
C...h...e...c....k....o...u...t........~~
R...a...y....
8:07 AM
Read from somebody's testi that somebody wanna attain 3.5 GPA oh.. my GPA's 3.59! hehehe.. itz not too high.. or rather.. not high at all.. I'm still proud of it nevertheless!!=D okioki.. thx gwennie.. u're the reason i get the result=p n... hmm.. there's no such thing as too big an EGO! Right, Yang? LOL..... =p
Checkout~
Ray.
4:16 AM
Dearie... dun tire urself with so many things you wanna change oki... I'm thankful enuff that you have the heart to change the so-called bad stuffs... but do note that u're not changing onli for mi but for the better of urself and to become a better person yah? =) I am not tolerant la.. but can dear dun alwayz say "aww.. dear angry at me le.".. cos sometimes I suddenly change face abit ar.. then after awhile I'll be okay le.. I need to learn to cope with my own temper too.. give mi that li'l time to accept the compromisation I did for you (for e.g.: Dear wan mi to stay at ATM downstairs to wait for you...if I compromized and waited.. I may pull a long face for a bit while..)... I'll be fine in no time! Really.. I mean.. I have to try yah... ? =)
hmmiez.. dearie.. if I am too demanding.. pls tell me.. I don't wish for that to be a quarrelling factor in our r/s anytime from now onwards oki...? I will do the same for dearie oso... I have so much more confidence in you compared to my previous r/s simple because of the fact that both of us can voice out our thoughts with no shyness or in other words.. we're DAMN straightforward =) hee...dun u tink so too? ---gives dear li'l no*** ho*** k*****--- kekeke...
Anyway... I can't wait for 5 am to come.. so I can wake u up with a morning call.. haha.. I don't think I can go swimming later le.. because of this surprise I'm planning and carrying out later... yah... dun tink dearie will read this blog before leaving home since dearie'll be RUsHing like crazy!! hahaha.. bet dearie'll be very sleepy oso.. thus I wanna make the first day of deardear's working experience at HTA good good.... It'z juz another little thing that I can do with a little bit of endurance.. Mind over matter yah? hahah... =)
Abit of backache pluz late slp won't kill yah? hhahhaa... muacks dearie... see ya later oh... hahah .. hope u'd like it ! =P
I love you dearie..
checkout~
Ray.
3:52 AM
first, i admit i ignore wad dear say sometimes.. its not intentional yet i'm conscious while i do tt.. yes i do tend2walk away when dear is seeing his stuff too..but tts cos i dun wanna waste time, i rather carry on looking at stuffs that interested me more? i noe its abit selfish la.. but i'ld try to change ok? tt includes listening more attentively to dear! =) i wanna change my bad temper too.. i tend to get very irritated when dear raises his voice at me.. den i'ld shout back.. making it become a quarrel.. haiz~ stupid temper of mine..!!
anw had a very nice time shopping w dear ytd.. plus all those no*** ho*** k*****.. haha.. so glad to haf dear who's so tolerant of me and understands me so well.. =)
*kisses left by -samsam-*
2:46 PM
first of all.. many many infinite thanx to dearie for hearing mi out when i needed a listening ear... it was truly amazing how our heartz being two different entities and so far apart yet connect so closely together.. i mean.. i tried to slp after puttin down the fone with dearie.. that was abt 12.30 or so.. and the time when i broke down it was 2am... really couldn't slp by the torments of the unpleasant feelings and thoughts of the mishappenings that may happen. thus i msged dearie wanting to tell her..i dint call her or ask her to call back or have anything to that aspect written in that sms.. but when i finish typing and went back to the main page... i saw "1 message received".. and guess wat.. it was dearie askin mi if i slp le n she miss mi... missing her dearly.. i replied as my heart told mi to.
she then called mi and we chatted and things happened are as described in the previous entry....
very sweet indeed..
went for my very last physiotherapy today.. and today's test and review's siong!! lol.. almost like a training regime of my very own.. 5 sets of 5 different kind of sprinting and running! short distance sprint la. then 2.4 run and cycling.. haha.. it is juz DAMN tiring since its in the early morning 9 am... act.. it 9.30 cos i was late. hehee.. ate a green apple in the morning.. dearie say will help jian fei.. it was SO sour~~~ but i still finished it la... haha.. then had a banana kueh after physio bought by dearie.. sweet.. literally ;P o.. interruption.. sorry dearie for letting u wait so long at the counter.. hugx... haha..continuing... then.. we went CT to shop and also service my specs.. ya.. the chicken li'l specs cui cos i stepped on it.. lol.. yah... it was really good service anyway~ :)
after that.. we went to marina...eat lunch at Yuki.Yaki... haha... had fun cooking for dearie.. and chewing all the huge pieces of beef patties;P cook lotsa mushroom for dearie.. glad dearie like it oh..=) then dearie cook her sister(doryfish) then we eat her together.. lol... SO DELICIOUS! :Pp hmm.. then funniest part should be... eh... we took quite alot of food ar.. until we cannot finish then we end up "decorating" the food into "eaten" food and not wasted food cos wasted food will be charged at FIVE BUCKS PER 100 GRAMS wo! so exp! :P
DEARIE DID ALL THE PLANNING!!! repeat.. ALL :P lol.... dearie.. so notti ar... haha..
hmm.. then we went to Samuel and Keith.. where i got 2 pairs of really nice jeans.. one that can show mi butt crack and its beautiful blossom.. LOL... the girls outside who saw mi showing dearie my qiao qiao de pi gu oso peng~ HAHAA.. i'm so proud of it.. anyway.. dearie chose two t shirts.. act one is sleeveless la.. but both green green color.. lol.. aiya.. more imptly is both oso look quite nice on mi la.. (dearie read this surely will say "i choose one ma.. confirm nice one lor.." :P) haha.. dearie got a jacket.. and then we went to bugis and she got a brown long pantz.. oh ya.. got red undies for dad and then we travelled to PS to change and alter the jeans for correct size and length since marina no hab... haha.. by this time.. dearie and i were really tired le.... and i believe and foresee that a quarrel will happen.. haha... thus i told dearie she's not the onli one who's tired and we muz be more understanding from now onwards... at the bugis street la... but who noes.. after we were done with all the stuffs which includes dearie's bra tryouts:P (I'll remember de.. 34D Tube Bandeau rite?:P) and travelled to HG mall to get a GoldLion polo T for dad and something for mummy.. a li'l quarrel broke out when we were choosing the size for my dad... dearie insisted its very big size and S should be ok.. and keep insisting that daddy's du nan not big.. haha..but i noe him more ma.. so i insisted its M size and his du nan quite big lo.. haha.. then quarrel bitbit.. but i'm still clear headed la.. despite being hit together with headache.. arm ache.. and lower back ache.... probably from the sprinting and changing of direction training that kinda thing in the physio. too long nv training le la.. haha.. sobx.. muz train back~~~ yah.. saw dearie's daddy too when we were choosing the shirt for my dad. haha.. he tot it was for mi.. lol.. :Pp yah.. end up her dad and mum oso at HG Mall.. buying groceries AGAIN! goodness.. hahaha... so many things and daily necessities to buy ma? =p..
anyway.. something bad broke out too... and feel bad abt it.. still.. even now... i raised my voice at dearie and dearie raised her voice telling mi thati should tell her earlier i wanna get thing for mummy.. but i already said i am getting things for dad and mum when we were at bugis.. and then after that she suggested going to HG Mall ma.. so i thought she noe that place well and there'll be stuffs to look for.. then end up.. i tink dearie nv hear mi saying abt my mum and she say i onli say abt my dad... sigh... then the things tat happened in the morning hit back to mi that dearie like got this habit of not listeningto wat i say... sometimes i see things she oso juz walk away.. i mean tat walk away thing is pretty okay.. but then she dun listen when i talk to her and she juz do her own thing then sometimes even juz interrupt mi with her own thoughts.. thencai hui end up like that,, nv hear mi then still say i nv say earlier lor.. yah.. it was a rather strong feeling even tho i believe if i am perfectly fine and not disturbed by those few consistent aches i will be able to take it la... ya.. lucky thing is dearie is understanding enuff la.. to forgive mi for kinda yellin at her...
*baobao*.. so sorry dearie...
lets change together okay?
thx dearie... for making the shopping trip such a fruitful one... really appreciate and cherish all our time spent together and ur understanding and efforts to keep ur anger down.. i noe its hard cos i have tat problem too.. but be glad we noe and admit to our own wrongs.. its onli a matter of time that we change if we wanna change lo.. i wanna change.. and i will change de... i dunno abt dearie's xin yi.. but dearie change or dun change i oso dun mind la... but if dearie say wanna change.. i hope is ren zhen de and dun anyhow say say oh...
oki la...
gotta go zzz liao....
nitex ppl... nitex dearie...
*muacckkksss for dearie*.. ehehhee =p enjoyed ALL the kisses.. and butt grabbing.. and hmm.. nvm.. haha...u noe i noe can le.. bleah... help mi say thx to ur mum for complimenting!!:Pp hahaha...
Checkout~
Ray.
11:53 PM
dear almost scared the hell outta me ytd.. it was alreasy 2plus cos he couldnt sleep.. so we chatted awhile over e fone.. but after not long, dear was crying le.. wo hao xing tong.. even as i listened to his worries and fear over the phone, i teared.. yes i was tired, but i still listened v attentively.. i cld only be a good listener.. i didnt noe wad consoling words to say dear.. but i truely understand ur concern over e dad.. furthermore, he's coughing quite badly nw.. nian ji you da le.. nan mian let u wry.. dear shi yi ge hen guan xin jia ren de young chap.. he's a gd elder brother that takes gd care of his younger bro & of cos a filial son to his parents.
2dae mrng woke dear up @ 7am.. complained of bad headache.. must be due to insufficient slp cos dear actually stayed awake till 6am cos his dad was coughing too badly. i always wry dear overtire himself den fall sick.. zhen de zhen de yao zao gu hao zi ji ok dear? yes i noe ur e eldest child of the family.. but try not to cast too much responsibility & burden over yrself dear.. b glad tt yr family situations are improving now.. u guys are much closer too.. eg. u & ur bro sleeping in e same rm.. nw u guys r so much closer den last tym rite? i'm sure u can apply this to ur relationship w ur parents oso.. i'm sure given more time spent together, u all can foster a closer family unit..=)
*warm hugs given by -samsam-*
10:21 AM
Sadly.. My date with the vampire III had ended.. its my most beloved series ALL the time!!! Love their contact lenses to the core... lol.. the way they roar and transform into vampire is juz cool to the max baby.. how i wish they're real.. act.. i will wish to be like that. =) Maybe dear wont.. lol... but i mean.. from the selfish aspect of my family and I.. i mean.. juz ONLY considerin abt our family.. it should be okay for us to all turn vampires and live for EONS.. we'll be happi! cos we seldom contact the rest anywayz. hahaha..
oki.. dreamz apart...
the end of the show featured a eternal world formulated by that yao chi... so much hard work.. not onli juz to capture that fate (to get herself killed).. but the main motive in her heart.. is to get her love proven by the three words "I Love You" from Fu Xi.. Fu Xi's a really attractive charactor i muz say... I used to support KTY.. but since FX came out.. I supported him all the way.. lol.. maybe its the muscles.. maybe its cos he's the king of ALL human kinds.. haha.. I love power. yes. I do. =D...
Back to Yao chi.. it was really touching..suddenly KTY and MXL (supposedly the main chars) became background to them(YC and FX).. I almost cried... but I dint.. until later.. whereby Dearie called mi immediately after the show ends.. it was a short conversation... convinced her to slp.. while I teaches bro how to iron his clothes.. she then msg mi.. "I LOVE YOU"... maybe its the show.. but I believe its inside mi all the while but I dunno how to show or express the importance of the three words.. often used and taken for granted by many couples.. the show kinda portrayed the kinda love i was dreaming.. fantasizing.. hoping to get.. yeah.. long before the show came out.. i was already tinking abt the same kinda undying love.. it was juz exactly fitting into the picture of love in my mind, soul, heart and brain who registers wat love is since dunno when I started knowing love.
Tears dwelled ard my eyes and I wiped them off immediately then came a last second wave of them.. wanted to msg back "I LOVE YOU" too.. but then it'll be too drama and wont be able to show wat i wanna say. thus i told dearie how i felt instead....
it is juz so seriously amazing how i am falling for this young lady... i felt the kinda love i felt for gwen.. the kinda tolerance i used to have seems to take over mi once again.. and the same type of fear of losing my love.. which once came unto mi when i was on the verge of losing shirley.. overwhelmed mi again when the msg "I LOVE YOU"... juz that this time.. its for samsam dearie.. Its onli 2 weeks.. and suddenly.. i'm shocked by my own brain neutrons and every feelings I'm feeling... yah.. its onli two weeks.. and i felt the kinda strong love and attachment and bonding i felt for my past relationshipS.. words can't describe my feelings.. and wat u read is probably the best i can do with my limited creativity and brain-juice...
For the critics who read this and felt jealous or envy.. maybe u'll wanna deny my love by saying its juz cause i took her for replacement.. and thus i'm feeling this strong feelings i felt for my past relationships.. for as much as u wanna say abt this... u can go ahead.. but wat went thru ur mind went thru mine. I ain't someone special.. but I am GQ.. some wat a chor lor guy who tinks alot.. somewat stupid and silly but still intelligent enuff to kick some nerds off their top 10 list. I think alot.. and that happens whenever shocking things strikes mi. Last nite was nv an exception.
I am very sure I ain't taking her for replacement.. for wat i felt for her is very special. No. Special is an understatement/under-description. I will very much wanna write down wat i feel for her.. but my love for her can't be determined/explained with reasons in simple human words. It is too complex to be simple and yet complexity level is at almost zero. Tink wat u want.. my love is true.. but its not for you. Its only for my dearie.. samantha yeo~ =)
well.. I am very thankful for her to be in my life.. and I'm pretty aware that she's very much a rare gem.. try finding a lady who's as sensible and intelligent as her at the age of 18.. intelligent maybe.. but not sensibility ba. its almost lesser than rarity in this SPOILT KIDS WORLD. even the S"IEA"F ppl are like dispersed sand and soft mud pie... can't even do 20.. how to fight enemy? not to mention the even lousier S"bee"F ppl... can't even do 10.. how to bust the infested tents? anyway... the guyz are like that already.. how to mention the ladies? out of the many rs i've been thru.. some are stubborn with their own thinking.. some are dreamy.. some are juz motherly(as in sticky to her mummy).. independence and sensibility.. and the guts to do things she wants and being able to separate right from wrong.. also.. gan ai gan hen.. all these attributes are not often combined together...
but i tink i found someone.. someone unique like anyone else yet different and romantically admired and sensually respected by onli mi... and I'm thankful I found her. and I'm thankful she's now my dearie. =)
Nvtheless.. I sent her "I LOVE YOU" too.. for I believe she who watched the last episode of the show and who is as emotional as mi... will be able to understand how truly I meant them.. and how special they are to me.. despite mi spoutin them to her every now and then. Thank you YC or Alice.. whatever you are.. for doing mi this favour. =) Thank God for letting this happen!
heh.. oki.. I Shall go zzz...
Nitex Everyone...
Can't wait to see dearie again.........
Checkout~
Ray.
1:53 AM
heh.. these few days.. i see deardear's DARK side~~ :pp bleah.. yes.. i noe it can be worst dear.. plz dun be proud of it oki? I'll help you to gai diao your huai pi qi de.. if you want.. but if you dun wan.. its okay with me oso... really! =) its just a matter of getting used to it ma... every couple confirm oso have something like tat de.. =)
Well.. i was quite stunned and sadded la.. all cos u were so sweet for the whole day then suddenly when we board the bus to my home then u changed completely wo.. haha.. but then when u told mi u noe abt ur pi qi but u juz can't control.. then i'm totally fine with it liao lor... cos dear noe then dear confirm will change de la... haha... i believe and trust in you... =)
haha.. then went dinner with me mum and dad.. dearie hui guai guai ma? today mi ate with ur mum and dad.. haha.. abit guai.. or more like hmm... nvm.. cos Dory fish will read thiz blog.. hahaha... but yah.. its quite a good experience.. like i told ya.. i find it very good and healthily helping in our rs that i can communicate with ur family members quite easily.. cept for ur mummy for now~ hehe.. nvm.. i believe i can break the barriers soon. haha.. hope dearie oso can talk with my mummy and daddy next time =) huggiex.. love you so much dearie... i miss you even tho u juz left... when i was in the cabbie.. i turned ard and saw u.. then the missing feeling come out le.. haha.. i'm SO feverishly in love with u~~~~ GOING CRAZY~~ *SCREAMS.. ARRRRRR~~~~* =p sound like u? hehe..
hmm.. oso find it very interesting to discover ar.. our taste.. about exactly the same except for some extreme differences~~ lol... u cao ai wat then i almost confirm cao ai one.. haha.. we're both the junk food kinda pple i guess.. bleah.. but its sweet and nice to noe oh... cos i remember our first common interest was abt food too.. remember? when we first few times talk on fone.. haha.. so interesting to find out abt dearie and vise versa.. but i will like to advice too.. that we muz not stop exercising wo.. cos if not ar.. our junk food will take over us and we'll be shou shen nan nu part II le!! lol...
oki la.. gotta go zzz le... muacks dearie... i'm really glad that dearie actually shown that mood swing actually.. haha.. it kinda realized the whole rs and not like those puppylove with one or two months of honey moon period and then after that fade like crazy... so duh~ haha..
let me say this again~
I LOVE YOU DEARIE....=)
oh yes.. i love the way you caress me and hum songs to me when I lie on ur thigh.. in the comp room.. yes.. i noe doryfish reads this.. but who cares?~ hehehe.. Xp...
tata~~~ thats all for now~
checkout~
Ray.
12:05 AM
supposed 2 b in gems(mathematical games&puzzles) clz nw but im in e com lab instead.. was late for gems clz but when i arrived at T124, nobody was there! shucks rite.. clz cant b cancelled cos of CA wk cos tue i went for gems(understanding weather).. so i suspect there's a change of venue cos in the previous clz she mentioned she might want to change the venue. but still, i'm not informed of anything!! *angry angry*
haiz.. lucky gt deardear "accompany" me virtually o.. unless i'll be so pissed & bored! jus received a MMS(our picture) frm dear.. so sweet~ dear just alwaes bring a smile unto my face despite the roughest times.. hee~
had a nice time out with dear: dinner at CCK, gai-gai at bishan j8.. had a nice chat.. dear was so relieved to know tt his daddy no more cough le.. i could tell dear was very worried for his dad lo.. cos he coughed for a wk liao.. but xian zai yu guo tian qing le~! cannt wait to meet him after school later!! hee~
wo hao xing fu.. yi ding bi hen duo ren xing fu..!! =)
* -samsam- blows kisses to deardear*
2:38 PM
Before getting self-centered and bombard this entry with lotsa I, Me, Myself and I... I will like to say something...
NOTTI DEARIE.. FORGOT GOT CLASS~~~ *ABISH!!!* *Spanks Dearie's Notti BUM BUM!!!*... HENGZ I call you rite.. wah raoz~...
But still.. you sound damn sweet when you're sleepy (i.e, when you about to sleep and when you just woke up.).. makes me wanna.... just... *muacks* you. hee...
Love you dear.
Okie... The primary purpose of this entry is not to announce the above but more like to write down my new yr resolution and how I hope to improve myself as a person and basically it is just what I hope to Do and Get and Be in this yr 2006.
Yr 2005 has really been a grueling year for me.. All the pain and hurt.. caused by living and non living objects in this world... However.. it brings to my attention that some living object can be more heartbreaking and takes things for granted more than those not living. For once again I gave my everything.. even my life in exchange for her love but still she did not even wanna see me and just merely insisted on her not-suitable-to-see each other kinda scenario.. it was heart breaking but I learnt a lesson too.. and that is no R.S is certain.. it takes two hands to clap... no matter how much you give.. if its not wat the other party wants.. its of no use at all. Also.. even if two pple can be SUPERBLY compatible.. flawless attributes... No R.S will work out if one party lacks initiative. But of course.. Ultimately.. the excellence factor lies on one question that I have been trying to answer in my whole life.. "How much is Enough?".. All along in my life.. I've been trying "Too Hard" for those who saw the real me and commented on me. Its easy to see the real me if you get along with me quite just well and long enough.. but not many can see the problems and questions that I see just by living as an organism in this ugly-beautiful world.
Anyway.. the only console I am giving myself is that at least I have the initiative and I dare to try. I ain't no mama's boy and I live MY LIFE (with considerations to others.. sometimes/most of the times depending on situation).
Yes.. I believe the above had somehow summarised my thoughts for wat I learnt from my previous R.S. One important principle of living for me will be no making of mistakes once I know them. for Mistakes repeated will be a Wrong and Wrongs are not supposed to be done. I'm not a politically right person but I insist strongly on my way of doing things just to make sure I have no regrets when I leave this ugly-beautiful world. Once again I strongly emphasize. Ugly-Beautiful World.
I woke up with a hit on my head reminding me of myself in the army days. It was a short 3 months but none can realise how much it changed me. I remembered how efficient I was.. to be able to get ready in 5 mins (Shower, Brush teeth and Changed). I tried to do that again as I woke at 7.25.. even tho I need to go out only at 7.40, I decided to give dearie a morning call at 7.30 since i'm still early for her morning call. Glad that I was still able to do it but then another fact hit me again. And it hit me hard.. that is for the past few months.. I ain't living with much.. no.. not any urgencies at all compared to my army days... thx to police force i should say but I ain't gonna blame it on anyone for its myself who chose to take away the urgency factor just because there isn't any enforcement or much need of it. I've somehow decided to bring back those urgencies. starting from today.
Next.. I hope to be a good brother to my younger bro... Hope to be a good example.. Hope to be someone he can learn from... I heard lotsa pple saying its okay that he bu hui xiang cos he's onli 14.. but to me.. there's no such thing as too young to be mature.. even tho onli 14.. I don't want him to be the same as the other 14 yr old kids. Basically cos he has a bro and that bro is me. I hope for him to excel without any pressure too hard to handle.
I also hope to be a good eldest child in the fam. I dunno how yet.. probably to save some money and appreciate more of the things done by my mum and dad for me and my bro. Let them noe I am there for them. Lets just say be a Guai Kia for them can le la.
Hmm.. Hopefully I can also get back my fitness.. The me who can run 10 click and rest for 5 mins then play ball for whole nite. Actually.. it's gonan be quite hard.. but I've made a promise to myself to come back stronger on the court anyway. So I'll be good. =)
I need my abs. I need a stronger back. So I'll work on that.
I need stronger hamstring to accomodate my strong thighs.
I need bigger chest and biceps and triceps to look good.
Above all those.. I wanna be flexible.. so I gotta do some painful stretching...=)
I've learnt to love pain.. cos pain is my friend... Thx 2nd Lieut Lim. hee..
Materialistic items will be about...
I need a new bag and I need a new fone...
I hope to get my driving license.. so FU~~~ ni zai na li? Lets go take together~~
I hope to get my lifeguard cert too.
Steps towards that that ~ Learn my free style..
~ Be more comfortable in water..
~ Swim as and when I can.
~ Ask dear teach. In exchange for muacks~ hehehe....
Last but not least.. I wanna be a good bf... Not to repeat whatever mistakes I made last time. Be more mature and handle things with appropriate measures.. Be more vocal and not keep everything to myself. Give what dearie needs.
Love my family, love my dearie.. be understanding and sensitive to them.
I pray for better health for everyone around me, esp. my dad and mum and dearie and bro.. and myself. Amen.
Checkout~
Ray.
9:04 AM
Heh.. today I went for my second last physiotherapy... Think I'm gonna miss Ms Elaine.. haha.. dearie dun strangle me.. she's malay and I have nothing more than admiration for her professionalism~~ hehee...
Thx to her I finally knew why my injury won't heal despite doing stretching everyday.. Stretching method was wrong and there were a few misconception in my sports knowledge.. which is good that I clarified with her already... hehe... Progress is doing good and soon I can go back to where I belong again~~~~ hehehe.. dun worry dear.. I won't leave you alone in the pool de cos I think swimming is becoming my second sport le~ I wanna learn more to make it more interesting~~~ deardear help mi can? Teach mi? Can I join your victoria's class for free? HAHAHA...
Okie.. next appt is next thurs.. Payday~ Finally I can Not be broke again... but I won't be rich til anywhere either.. but still.. having some cash is still good cos I don't have to borrow even bits and pieces of money from dear.. that is just not right in my principles of life.
Anyway.. I need to blog something here.. my views for NS has changed.. I no longer take it as seriously as I do (Prays that none of my colleagues read this unless they really WANT to understand how I feel).. I only hope to make use of the time I spent in NS to learn good stuffs and improve myself before I go out into the so called "Real World"...
Hope to get License for Driving.. and BM if possible.
Yah.. back to not being serious in NS anymore.. its also cos I hate being "used" to do sai gang. I mean I really feel like I'm being called to do lotsa shit stuffs when they can call other colleagues to help. I have my own stuffs to do too and Y can't they call the others? Yes.. they're good to me.. they just need my help sometimes.. but when that sometimes occurs more than 5 times a day when I need to do my own work oso.. it ain't needing my help anymore~! Sigh. I'm being paid Less than one quarter of their salary noe.. Like Fuck I share their workload with addition to my shitwork raining from All other departments in SPF?
I mean yea.. I noe this is nothing compared to OPs department and all my fellow squadmates outside.. but so? If anyone is to comment on this.. Com'on.. I'm commenting on my life.. why should I compare with any other pple?
Okie.. I shall not flare up or wadeva... Not worth it.
Anyway.. I've made up my mind I'm gonna just spend govt's money to heal all my injuries and becoming "brand new"... I'm gonna finish my work still.. but I'm gonna take M.A every now and then.. cos I need them.. I shan't feel paiseh already.. cos Its my life that I'm taking charge now and I believe in the decision I made.. I felt bad that I let Chusna down.. but Com'on.. he's working as a regular.. I'm working as a NS Men afterall.. yes.. friendships can last forever but I ain't gonna work there til I grow old anyway.. I believe he'll understand somehow if I explain this to him. I feel that I should take some time to break this to him.. Hope that he won't make fun or joke abt this...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enuff of those..
Dearie came over after class.. Bought dinner for mi... So sweet of her to take an hour after her class ends at 4 to run errands and travel to my home... I love my dearie so so much... Nv regret doing everything I did for her before proposal and til now... I believe I won't next time too.. I can proudly says that I have confidence in this R.S and Us... Can't really believe I'm in love with an eighteen yr old who's at a maturity level that I zhan tong... I tot it'll be difficult to find such a lady unless she's older than me already man. heh... its good la.. God Blessed.. the more I should cherish.
Thx dearie for everything... Really...
Coming over til 9+ then go home so late.. don't let mi send you home cos its far... Getting dinner for mi.. your constant showering of care and concerns and love and nagging(your constant reminder for medicine time~).. hee... of course your appreciation of wat I did too.. I really cherish every single bits of you and all the time we spent together.. I won't take you for granted de.. I know you won't too.. =) There're many other things she did for mi too.. but I need to go to bed cos dearie's waiting for me to zzz so she'll zzz together at the same time... sweet? hee.. Don't be jealous reading this~ hehehe...
Okie.. time for bed already.
I'm so in love with you dearie..(,")*(",)
Checkout~
Ray.
12:23 AM
haha..
gen: " how come suddenly got this dog in our room?never seen it b4.."
mum: " eh.. this dog SO CUTE!! hw can it be possible that u nv see this dog b4? only u(gen) like this kinda dog.. bla bla blah... mayb dad bought it? or perhaps lannie?"
gen: "weird.. this dog looks DAMN familar.. dunno seen somewhere b4.."
sam: *suspects tt this familiar looking dog is deardear de.. so showed gen a pic of this familiar dog from deardear friendster..*
true enough.. i only just realised dear left his dearest doggie in my room o.. all along dear loved dis doggy very much.. everyday accompany dear in office somemore..
*sam sinks into sweetness..* so nice.. dear likes to give me lil surprises lyk this.. i love it alot o.. hee~ thx dear.. thx 4 being so nice to me..
---------- flying kisses left by -samsam---------
12:44 AM
what a nice way to end 2005 and start year 2006..=)
its all because i've found you dear..
today met dear at kovan for breakfast(almost thought i lost him at e hawker centre cos walked 2 rounds but couldnt find him!)
den he came my house to fix my stupid computer which has ALOT of problems.. although cramped in tt stuffy lil bomb shelter, it was still nice to see dear work so patiently..=) however, halfway thru i went to slp on e living rm sofa cos felt quite sleepy(perhaps due to e ribena volka).
ya.. N i was woken up quite abruptly by dear&constantly disturbed by him cos he kept tickling me(prevent me from going back to slp)..i got so frustrated cos i was REALLY SLEEPY man..lucky din do anything disruptive..haha~
finally i woke up! felt quite bad actually, cos i let deardear sit inside e bomb shelter ALONE to fix e computer.. sry4neglecting u..
we went swimming..water was FREEZING COLD la..but had quite a nice chat w dear at a corner of e pool.. =)
had delicious curry fish head4dinner & durian pancake 4 dessert.. yummy! den walked ard hg mall(din seem as boring cos dear was w me!) hee~
as we walked, we met my aunt & granny at e supermarket(0ops! they din noe we're tgt yet).. somemore dear was holding my waist o.. saw my mum oso.. well~ finally everyone noes we're together=).. N tt makes me SO delighted! no more hiding.. no more worries..
----- hugs left by samsam-------
12:22 AM
About The
GQ's Profile:
ID:
GQ/QinG/KK/Rukawa
Day of Generation:
09 AugusT 1984
ZodIaRk ~ LeO
Inner BeasT ~ Mice
Loves:
- Samsam/Samantha
- Basketball *Passion*
- Swimming
- Running
- BlooD *Craving*
- Sensual Pain~
- Kitties and Puppies *Cuddle*
- My brothers and sisters
- My Real family and my brother
- StrawBerriEs
- Hugx and Caresses
- Nibbles and Kisses
- Orgasms
- Well defined Muscles
- Flat Abs
- 34D =)
- Programming (Not a Geek either)
- Beach
- Getting Sun-Kissed
- Pple who dares to be themselves and not hide
- bitches sometimes :)
- Loves and Romance..
- To lend a helping hand/listenin ear at ALL times =)
- Betrayers
- Backstabbers
- Liars
- HypocRytes
- Pple who breaks promises
- Arrogant pple
- Pple who act holy
- Bastards
- Bittergourd
- NS
- Lazy pple/Pple w No Urgency
*Mei*~~Rong~~
GwenGwen
JiaYuan
*Mei*~~Rachel~~
Yu
Dael
Mike
Lester
Kenny
Desire~List
- DEARIE'S HUGX AND KISSES
- New Phone.. 6230I
- Nike Bag.. 82.95
- Abs.
- Bigger Biceps and Triceps.
- Better Complexion
- Better Health...
- Black Jeans
- Orange Shirt
- Grey Pants
- Black Leather Belt
MSN/Friendster: rukawa_koh@hotmail.com
Email: rukawa_gq@yahoo.com / rukawa.gq@gmail.com
"In~LoVeS'~"
SY's Profile:
Samantha Yeo Su Yun
18 years old
Singapore Poly
Lifeguard, Financial Trade
Sports, swimming esp!, life-saving, shopping, taking pictures
Wishlist:
i'm so happy with dear now that i cant wish for more!!=)
Links:
Link
Chitty~Chitty~Chat~Chat