I was posted this qn by some dear fren of mine...
"Everything i do, it was for him. I don't know what i want is for myself..I do things for him to be happy, but he still left. why....?"
It is a very sad case that I do not wish to disclose here.. but I'd like to address to this qn.. esp.. to my dearie.. my utmost loving dearie...
First and foremost.. it was a very typical example of love blind case.. Since day one of rs.. i told myself and i told my dearie not to get into such a situation.. because in that situation.. u won't have consciousness for ANY degrading of feeling or fade off of love or any other stuffs.. this can be dangerous for rs.. esp. cummulative anger and accumulating grudges/compromises-overmade.
A mini example of it happened in MY rs with dearie.. which rings a bell SO LOUD it almost deafen my ears. I'm glad it got me awake.. and I managed to talk to dearie before anything and everything gets worst. I felt like I compromised too much.. for going to her home.. trying to meet the quota of meeting her everyday(regardless its a need for me or she just plainly miss me).. I can't emphasize enuff that this is impossible to happen because working life will soon take over and the impact will be great if we were to suddenly expose to that no-meeting days instead of building up from now.
Also.. meeting her and her parents too much means too li'l time for my parents.. tat caused some disruptions in my emotions because my dad just kinda recovered(i still found blood streaks in the phlegm of his just now.. i dunno.) from cancer.. last but not least.. the controlling of my expenditure and restricting me from buying anything I want. I was OK initially.. if to state the condition.. i was blinded by love.. I felt that it is ok.. I should compromise to her because I love her and I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY!!! i did not negotiate an equal good way out.. and thus ended up with the numerous quarrels we had recently because the patience hit the limit and compromises breaks down.. I was kinda stupid then. Too naive.. and despite knowing that this may happen.. I still fell for the trap because the love I fell into is way too deep.
I am glad we're having love that we're willing to fork our life for.. and its VERY unconditional.. but let me remind dearie and myself.. that this was getting pretty unhealthy oh.. dearie said u were too dependent on mi.. I did not agree to it.. and tinking abt it til now. .I should say dearie just love me too much and just wanna help me. But on my receiving end.. it doesn't feel that way. Despite being mature and appreciative.. I couldn't help but feel the restrictions and control dearie is towering over me. I need the space for breather like I just told u..
This can very easily boil down to things happening the way like the qn posted to me by my dear fren... scroll up to see. Why did lover A did all she can for lover B but lover B still left? Cos on the receiving end.. lover B isn't feelin the love.. he's feeling the pressure of the overwhelming love. and is lover B doesn't address to it cos he's plain lazy or tinks he can compromises everything (like i was..).. doom will be on the way.
Anyway.. I hope dearie will wake up with mi on this wake up call.. it ain't meant to be harsh.. but I was just evaluating wat was happening on my side. so u can noe.. I hope we will always have such conversation.. honest ones.. so we can truly evaluate and stay conscious of our love.. so we won't be blinded and killed by love when we truly love each other.
Like i said in the beginning.. commitment and loving ain't easy.. since I took my first step to propose to u on 24 Dec 2005 1.33AM.. I already made up my mind to walk with you down the long winding rough.smooth route til we reach the aisle and tie the knot. I don't go into a rs to playplay. and you know how serious I can be when I AM serious.
I know dearie's serious abt me too.. and dearie very much feel the same way as I do when love is concerned. Do evaluate on the above.. and we can discuss to make adjustments and then follow thru them so we can get back on the honeymoon days again with lesser quarrels but still same fruitfulness in understanding yeah?
Maybe dearie tink I am tinking too much. but tink abt it. if i dun tink abt it.. who will? wat if this carry on and i am to be super dumb to notice onli when my feelings for u fade because of tiredness i were to experience from all the quarrels and compromising to your well-meant controls/restrictions? am i really thinking too much? or am i just trying to make things easier with my li'l 2 cents worth of wits that i have in my walnut sized brain? tink abt it and tell me. yeah? :)
Checkout~
Ray.
1:39 AM
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GQ's Profile:
ID:
GQ/QinG/KK/Rukawa
Day of Generation:
09 AugusT 1984
ZodIaRk ~ LeO
Inner BeasT ~ Mice
Loves:
- Samsam/Samantha
- Basketball *Passion*
- Swimming
- Running
- BlooD *Craving*
- Sensual Pain~
- Kitties and Puppies *Cuddle*
- My brothers and sisters
- My Real family and my brother
- StrawBerriEs
- Hugx and Caresses
- Nibbles and Kisses
- Orgasms
- Well defined Muscles
- Flat Abs
- 34D =)
- Programming (Not a Geek either)
- Beach
- Getting Sun-Kissed
- Pple who dares to be themselves and not hide
- bitches sometimes :)
- Loves and Romance..
- To lend a helping hand/listenin ear at ALL times =)
- Betrayers
- Backstabbers
- Liars
- HypocRytes
- Pple who breaks promises
- Arrogant pple
- Pple who act holy
- Bastards
- Bittergourd
- NS
- Lazy pple/Pple w No Urgency
*Mei*~~Rong~~
GwenGwen
JiaYuan
*Mei*~~Rachel~~
Yu
Dael
Mike
Lester
Kenny
Desire~List
- DEARIE'S HUGX AND KISSES
- New Phone.. 6230I
- Nike Bag.. 82.95
- Abs.
- Bigger Biceps and Triceps.
- Better Complexion
- Better Health...
- Black Jeans
- Orange Shirt
- Grey Pants
- Black Leather Belt
MSN/Friendster: rukawa_koh@hotmail.com
Email: rukawa_gq@yahoo.com / rukawa.gq@gmail.com
"In~LoVeS'~"
SY's Profile:
Samantha Yeo Su Yun
18 years old
Singapore Poly
Lifeguard, Financial Trade
Sports, swimming esp!, life-saving, shopping, taking pictures
Wishlist:
i'm so happy with dear now that i cant wish for more!!=)
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